Boogy Down with the King Kidney Bean

And speaking of Shel Silverstien (oh, we weren't? well, just go with me on this...) Does anyone remember that poem Description? It goes like this:

George said, "God is short and fat."
Nick said, "No. He's tall and lean."
Len said, "With a long white beard."
"No," said John, "He's shaven clean."
Will said, "He's black," Bob said, "He's white."
Rhonda Rose said, "He's a She."
I smiled but never showed 'em all
The autographed photograph God sent to me.

Will (my Will) had a "God is" moment the other day. Will says God is "big and hairy" (he recently learned about "that Esau boy" and since he got the tale from his kid bible and anything in the kid-bible is about God...well, obviously God is big and hairy.)I'm glad my son has reasonable expectations of God. --I'm glad he's not suffering under strange delusions involving God and giant dancing kidney beans...or was that just me? Hey no judgment, my mommy said God is not a he or a she, God is a being.

Note to moms everywhere: realize that when you tell children something is a "being" they will assume you mean "bean." So to this day I harbor a mental image of God as a giant, crowned, tap-dancing kidney bean (complete with cane and yellow halo-ish light shining from behind.) Which means when we get to heaven we'll boogey down with the big bean of the universe, right?

On the other hand (this is not veggie tales, so the bean has hands) picturing God as big and hairy might bring on a whole host of other issues: what happens when he meets one of those oober-hair, cousin of bigfoot men? You know the type: the men who not only wax off any extra belly fuzz, but could also- at any given moment- scribble your name, birthdate and "will you marry me?" into their back-fur via electric razor? Perhaps we'll scale that wall (or Nair that back, whichever.) when we get to it:)

This begs the question: does anyone ELSE still harbor childhood desciptions of the Big Hairy Bean that skim shy of padded-cell worthy? Do share, we all need a lil autographed photograph to carry 'round:)