Mama, have you ever lost yourself? ...
Ever become so immersed in each day, or in this thing that requires so much of you, there doesn't seem to be anything left over? Any "you-ness" recognizable? Have you bent so far under some impossible load you don't know what straight looks like anymore? Where did that spontaneous, carefree, unwearied personality disappear to? Did you leave it in your other pants pocket? Forget to stick it in your purse as you dashed out the door?
No, dear friend. It's there still~ you'll catch glimpses. That gargantuan task that hides you so well is what makes you. Dear mother, you shine through those you've poured yourself into...how could you be unseen? You are the background glow that reassures small eyes. And you are the gentle touch that guides little hands. Christ poured into you so that you could then pour yourself out to others. Remember this:
Luke 17:33 "Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it."
You haven't lost yourself, this is you. You don't need to "rediscover yourself." Woman, you're right there, in the very thick of life! Love then. Love and give grace and show mercy and laugh loudly and bend...
“We bend. I bend to sweep crumbs and I bend to wipe vomit and I bend to
pick up little ones and wipe away tears... And at the end of these days I
bend next to the bed and I ask only that I could bend more, bend lower.
Because I serve a Savior who came to be a servant. He lived bent low.
And bent down here is where I see His face. He lived, only to die. Could
I? Die to self and just break open for love. This Savior, His one
purpose to spend Himself on behalf of messy us. Will I spend myself on
behalf of those in front of me? And people say, “Don’t you get tired?”
and yes, I do. But I’m face to face with Jesus in the dirt, and the more
I bend the harder and better and fuller this life gets. And sure, we
are tired, but oh we are happy. Because bent down low is where we find
fullness of Joy.”~ Kisses from Katie, Katie Davis
